When people see me with 3 children, they almost always say, “I bet you have your hands full!” or “I bet they keep you busy!” But I don’t feel busy. I feel like my life has simplified since moving to Colorado (once the transition was over). Our days are not usually over-scheduled. We get up, we get Naomi to school, we come home and clean the house, we eat lunch, we take naps, we pick Naomi up from school. We have playdates, we visit the library, we just started going to a mom’s group, and we run errands and have doctor’s appointments, but we aren’t really busy. I’m not stressed out. I know that I have all day to get to that sink full of dishes, so if it doesn’t get done during Sarah’s morning nap, it’s OK.
Of course I have my moments when I get overwhelmed. Usually this happens between 4 and 7 p.m., when we are trying to do homework, eat dinner, and get the kids bathed and to bed. Last night in particular was awful, when I managed to ruin making even mac & cheese for dinner. (Tim usually cooks, don’t worry.)
Since Sarah’s been born, I have been feeling guilty for NOT being busy. I felt like maybe I was not doing as much as I should be doing. Every other mother is so busy…why am I not?
Yesterday Sarah, Rachel, and I went to a MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) meeting, and the devotional was about busyness. It spoke right to my heart. It talked about how we often feel we are not worthy unless we are busy, but that God does not measure our worth by how much we do in one day. In fact, Tim has often said that he feels busyness gets in the way of allowing God to work in our lives. We can be so busy that when God asks us to do something, we either don’t hear Him, or there’s just no room in our schedule for any adaptions.
So I have decided not to feel guilty anymore about the quieter pace of my life. I don’t do housework after 8 p.m. so I can have time to relax and recharge, and that’s OK. Naomi is not taking any extracurricular activities, because she doesn’t want to right now, and that’s OK. When she wants to take a dance class or try out a soccer team, we’ll check it out. Rachel’s days largely consist of unstructured free play time and reading books, and that’s OK too. If I was up all night with Sarah, I will take a nap in the middle of the day, and I will turn my cell phone off first. Down the road we will add other activities and responsibilities, but even then, I will be on guard to keep busyness from taking over.
4 replies on “Busyness”
You are blessed to not be busy! I have the same feelings of guilt too. But I have enough to keep me occupied, so I’m very particular about what extras we do throw into our schedule. Enjoy your time with your girls. It’s wonderful that you are able to do that!
This is really something I struggle with! At the end of the day, if I can rattle off a list of chores and things I’ve checked off my to-do list, I feel better about myself. So then on the days that I can’t list a bunch of things I’ve done, I feel worse about myself. That’s why the devotion yesterday made such an impression on me.
And you are right–it is important to be careful about what activities we choose to add into our schedule. I plan to be very deliberate about that too.
If I ever actually start my own blog – I will cite this posting as my inspiration.
I cried when I read this, Audra. Probably somewhat caused by my fragile emotional state at this stage in the game – but also because I have been feeling also very un-busy since moving – and have been comparing my life to those of other moms I meet. Most of these moms work part time, or are such full time moms that they really, really fill up their schedules (I talked to two moms who have three kids each, and each child has no less than six, Six! extra curricular activities outside of elementary or preschool. Anyway – it just felt so good to read about how nice being un busy is, because it really is enough to be who you are and to take care of the moment at hand. It is also a great reminder to practice what I preach and stop comparing myself to others and start feeling comfortable and confident in the priorities and the mode of life Vincent and I have chosen for our family.
Christy, I hope you start a blog!! I would love to read about your life and the kids and how you all are doing!
You know, after I wrote this, October turned into a very hectic month for us, and I felt like I was constantly running from on harvest party to a trick or treating event to a birthday party…etc. It was all fun, but I am so glad to now have some time to rest and get back to not being busy.